Saturday, December 17, 2011

So Angry I Saw Red!!!!


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That was me yesterday.  It has been building for months but it came to a head yesterday and I did lose it.  I soooooooo hate it when that happens, but OH MY GOD WAS I PISSED!!!!


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If this could only be easily done .  I know there are people and circumstances that will make me angry, it is a way of life, but DAMN!!!!!

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I also know that this is so true.  But I don't forgive, and I don't forget very well.  I know I should have compassion and let go of my anger because the only one it is hurting is me.  But I am one who stuffs, mounts and dances a jig around the thing that has pissed me off.  I know that this is not good for me and only hurts me, but sometimes I just can't let go.

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So, I am going to try and do this - forget.  Not completely, I do plan on doing something about the situation, but I plan on blanking the person out.  That person ceases to exist.  I know they won't stop pissing me off, but I will let it run off me like water.  They are so not worth it!

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So, I have made a decision, and I have a plan.  Lori, Studio Waterstone, had a post on Wednesday about defining moments.  I have to say that moment came to me on Friday, when the inkling I had finally came true.  The only one who can make a difference is me!!!!!  I have two goals now; I plan on making those goals come true.

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I am awesome!  Mom said it to me last night, and I have people reinforcing the same thing all the time.  I let myself forget yesterday, and I WON'T let that happen again.  No one, I mean no one should have that kind of power over me.  For a while, I let that person have that power, and I am so disappointed at myself for letting that happen.  No more.


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As a friend told me, this event happened for a reason.  Yesterday was my defining moment, grab it and run with it.  I have already started in that direction, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.  I wish I could go into details of what happened, but I just can't.  I just had to purge it from my system like toxic waste.  I am ready - Bring It!!!!

5 comments:

  1. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

    I love that quote. And I am reminded of it frequently. If I get backed up into a corner it is one of my own making. I have the power to break through the wall and not let those bricks rain down on me.

    You have that power as well. And I am so HAPPY to hear that you are turning that negative into a positive.

    You ARE awesome.
    You ARE worthy.
    You ARE talented.
    You ARE delightful.

    Don't you forget it.

    Enjoy the day!
    Erin

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  2. Erin said it perfectly! You go girl!

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  3. Yep Erin NAILED IT! I will e-mail you soon!

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  4. Erin said exactly what I would have. You are awesome!

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  5. Two thumbs up to you for taking a step in the right direction and putting toxin behind you. Erin gave some very good advise, so yeah, what she said. Wishing you and your Mother a wonderful Christmas and all of the best for the New Year.
    Therese

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